Oct 3 2013
I just felt to share some of my insights and experiences since arriving down in beautiful Yowrie, N.S.W., Australia 10 days ago with Frances and JP.
It feels so soft and beautiful down here at the moment. It’s such a blessing being here with Frances and JP and Greg and Emily. And the property is breathtakingly beautiful….so green and so many coloured birds of all shapes and sizes. I introduced JP and Frances to a wombat the other night and earlier that same day a 2 metre long venomous red belly black snake. We were only standing a few metres from it but we had the wire netting of the chicken cage between us. These snakes are amazingly shy anyway….to get bitten you would really need to be aggressive with them.
On that same day JP got a large tick in the back of his neck which we googled on how to remove. Frances had never seen or heard of ticks before but soon found herself removing it with the care and precision of a surgeon.
And there are also many wallabies and kangaroos around at the moment.
I feel to share about some intense unfolding that has been occurring for me and I was very much aware of yesterday. I have been facing deep feelings of anger, hurt, jealousy, and rejection. When I awoke yesterday morning it felt like it was to be a day of going within and I honoured this.
However, at some point that honouring and allowing seemed to turn in on itself and I must have grabbed hold of a grievance or two. I remember having the thought that I was hungry but I would have to leave the comfort (and isolation) of my van to go into the main house for some food. I did not want to see or speak with anyone….or so I thought. LOL Spirit obviously had other plans! Soon after entering the house JP spotted me and approached asking if we could join on a project we had mentioned earlier. I was in such a state of, “I don’t want to be near anyone… No one wants anything to do with me”….(perhaps you can relate to the general feeling I’m describing), that I could barely speak to JP. I think I conveyed a somewhat killer gleam of silent fury and soon after he and Frances left. This for the moment fuelled my belief that I really am not wanted around here. Honestly when I looked back on this this morning when I awoke, I was able to have a good chuckle. I had received several prompts during the day to join and I had refused them all. So clearly I was doing it all to myself. Convincing myself that others were thinking all these thoughts about me…..none of them true. I joined with JP about this this morning and it felt so beautiful to hear his calm, clarity around it all.
I acknowledge this stuff does run deep in us all. And what a blessing it is to have such mighty, devoted ones beside us, to take our hands when needed and show us the way when the apparent darkness may make the steps ahead seem uncertain and even treachorous.
Love to you all!!!